I have been lost for a long time.
Until I gave birth to my daughter, I always thought I was as confident and authentic as they come. Now I realize that I have lived far too long inside of a prison constructed by my inability to recognize that which is my responsibility versus the baggage of others. Thanks to the tough love of a dear friend, I realize that this is not the lesson I want to teach my daughter. I hope and pray she will be mature enough to admit her mistakes, to accept that failures are a part of life that serve to motivate us to become our best selves. What I do not want is to communicate the idea that she should be anyone’s doormat at any time. Repression of one’s authentic self is not an act of love, rather it is being fearful and dishonest. It is to cheat the world of the once in a lifetime opportunity to encounter a one of a kind individual. Not everyone will accept nor will they like who I really am, but living life as someone else is a heinous offense to my G-d who made me just as He pleased.
She is far too young to understand it now, but I owe my daughter my life. I may not matter to the world, but I mean everything to her, and my decisions as her parent will make all the difference in her world.